The myriad ways in which guys can ruin or endanger relationships is to par with digits only dreamed and envisioned by savants and God. Or mad people. The area becomes noticeably more difficult once you’re engaged in a long distance situation where touch with your girl is minimal. The explanations for long distance relationships are varied, often having to do with psychological aversions to everyday touch or the inability to devote whole time to one individual. Sometimes it’s awkward time, or the lack of options.
If you’re looking to sabotage or otherwise infect your connection with little stains of sick behavior, you’ve come to the ideal place. As a relationship expert with no credentials but tons of real world experience, I have reduced those heretofore unquantifiable screw-ups in an easily readable listing, which you can print out and examine when you visit a crossroads. In the event you desire to ruin your connection, just continue or highlight the next behaviours. Should you wish to avoid such devilishness, the listing also helps point out possible pitfalls, proving that forewarning the birds in the bush will prevent them from becoming a bird in the hand, and as anyone knows, is a metaphor for a break-up. Whilst the list is by no means complete, it will cover a great deal of ground.
Feel free to pass this on to other males who are in or going to be involved in a significant relationship. They are:
(These also use to non-distance relationships)
Lie about the small things. This really is a slow burning fuse. It will not have the effect of a massive deception, such as an affair, but may really have a cumulative effect that’s as destructive as sleeping around. She won’t know you’re lying. But you will. And then she’ll grab you into one. Take a few of them out, and you’ve got yourself a Jenga game. Take a lot of them out, and you’ve got a failed bridge with all the 8am work visitors on it.
2). Don’t apologize for your small screw-ups. This is good because it’ll slowly alienate you from her, making an ever-widening rift of unresolved quibbles that shortly require major surgery to suture back together. It is a lot simpler and feels better to remain steadfast in your own rightness. You can even attempt to control her through tone of voice or particular important phrases into feeling bad, though you’re the one who was an ass.
3). Want her just for that which she can do to you. The classic selfishness way of relationships will make you satisfied and happy, but her feeling diminished as a individual and a buff. Your needs must trump hers if you do not need the romance to last.
4). Substitute being with her doing things for her. This is a subtle distinction, but one that creeps up on you once you get busy or simply don’t feel like spending some time with her to the phone or shooting her a more email. Whenever she asks you for a favor, you should have the best attitude and willingness to perform it. This will make you feel guilty later when you’re “too busy” to talk or you have to fit her in. It won’t be too long before she realizes you’ve given up actually caring about her and are only paying lip service to your relationship.
Stop being intimate. Don’t send her gifts or packages. Procrastinate on that combined CD. Be passive when you are with her, let her make all the moves. Quit cuddling and holding hands when you are together.
Quit attempting to comprehend her. Initially everything she said and did was cute and possibly mysterious. You wanted to understand every thing about her. Now that you need out, stop asking questions. Don’t inquire into her day or deeper things about her lifestyle that you haven’t found yet. Make the connection surface-oriented, and you’ll soon discover there is not much you’ve got to do in order to quit completely.
Don’t sacrifice for her. This is sort of a corollary to #3, since this goes back to some basic assumptions concerning the connection. Sacrifice is dumb if you do not truly believe in you as a couple.
Following these suggestions will make you happy, at least temporarily. They will most likely make her sad, so if you can live with this, then they’re good “human follies” which can set you in the publication with millions of other men who have been unable or reluctant to put in the effort needed to get a very long distance relationship to function. A number of these happen by accident, or at the natural path of every day life. The most straightforward way to create a relationship to fail is to simply ignore the signals that you’re committing these fundamental errors. However, if you would like to keep your desperate hold with this woman who has set up with much, you can offset the harm by following the connection picture provided as a progressive solution to every foible. Most are cross-linked for maximum benefit to men of both stripe as targeted by this report.
Signals To Yourself
You can readily tell when these methods of ruining your relationship are very ingrained to your interactions with her. Each includes a corresponding sign, either psychological, psychological, or physical, which can direct you to making the choice to either continue said behavior or adjust so as to minimize the risk that she will take the initiative and ditch you. After all, the writer understands that many guys are desperate, and will take being chucked as a fracture for their delicate ego. This has caused many wars and the evolution of the sports car industry.
When you see you insist on paying for everything, then you mentally stab her in the face because she didn’t pay (even if she offered and you refused)
You find new ways to say “I am busy that night.” Often this involves vague statements of work or meetings.
You substitute her photograph with a brand new desktop of something technical or improved (like a gadget or a bikini model).
You no longer write her poems.
You’ve “I adore you!” As a fast dial alternative for text messaging. Then you give up using it except once she texts you.
You try and make her feel guilty for something you did wrong.
You begin wanting a social life. The funny thing isthat you never had a social life until you began dating.
You believe those little things she always did that you thought were cute are just annoying now.
You take more time glances at other women’s breasts, legs, and butts.
You intend phone dates around your schedule.
Telephone dates used to continue four hours. They last one. You’re always relieved when she’s a break to visit the bathroom. You’re disappointed when she calls.
You don’t poke her on Facebook anymore.
Ruining Your Relationship May Be Hazardous To Your Health
Alright, so I do not really want you to mess up your relationship. I would like you to recognize if you’re heading down the road to Singlesville. Believe it or not, the connection has not changed. You have. You, together with countless other men, have been taught by culture to jump ship at the first indication of trouble. It’s very likely that you’ve considered breaking up with her because you’ve started experiencing these signs and you have noticed these patterns of behavior on your interactions with her.
Suck it up. Call up her. Tell her you’ve been messing up. Admit that you have been idle and ego-centric and unresponsive to your own needs. Tell her you want to do better. Tell her you need to make things work, and that to do so, will require change on your part. Tell her you do love her, and ask her to forgive you. Repeat every six months or as needed.